Just friends'
by Ascendant Angel
Summary: A little romance story the author has characters in mind but no names mentioned , you have to guess or chose your favorite couple. Ops this is now a pg 13
1. 'Just Friends'

'Just friends'/ Dreaming  
  
Disclaimer: This story belongs to me, the characters don't, but if you can prove who they belong to I'll give you my life savings (84p).  
  
She'd been dreaming of him again, his warm embrace, but then the reality of morning stole that away; the alarm pierced her skull sending a wave of pain rippling thought it shoving her forcefully into the new day that awaited her.  
  
She tried to close her eyes escape back into the dream, to stay with him, but the dream sailed out of reach she had to leave him to spend another day with him, but not having him; another day of 'just friends'. Oh how she hated those words.  
  
She met him for breakfast as she had done many times, and they sat together as always, but today she sat next to him so as not to get caught staring into those eyes of his she could get lost in their depths.  
  
His hand brushed against her as he reached for something she felt little bolts of electricity shot though her; he was staring at her and she realised he must have asked her something, but he just chuckled and continued eating.  
  
She'd done this for so long now carried on like normal like nothing had changed, and maybe it hadn't for him, but for her it was different, when the change started was hard to identify she couldn't pin point when her feelings changed or even when the dreams started it was all so gradual.  
  
She briefly wondered if he felt the same way, but no he couldn't not for her, he saw her only as a friend nothing more. She longed to tell him, confess her love, but if she did that she was doomed to lose his friendship, then she wouldn't have him at all, and this having but not having was better than nothing; so she staid silent played at friends 'just friends'.  
  
It was getting harder though; each day it was a little harder to push down the dreams, and pretend nothing had changed to continue her little game of 'just friends' nothing more. A couple of times like when they had fought a battle, and almost lost, almost died; she thought she saw a flicker of something cross his eyes, but then if was gone and she wondered if she had really seen it at all or just imagined it.  
  
The dreams were becoming more powerful, and she longed to stay in bed surrender to them, and live in her dream world where she had him and didn't have to play at 'just friends' anymore; she could touch him, kiss him, feel his warm skin pressed against hers, his comfortable weight on top of her, his.no she had to stop this line of thought she couldn't go there, she wasn't sleeping now, she had to concentrate on her work this crew needed her, awake and alert.  
  
She continued to play 'just friends' pulling it off for another day; they walked past her quarters and she said goodnight as she walked in; wanting very much to pull him in after her, and act out her dreams, but the doors closed and blocked her sight of him ending another day with but without him; another day of 'just friends'. 


	2. Alone

Alone  
  
She held him in her arms, his life was slipping away before her eyes, she hugged him tighter as if in an effort to hold him to this world; his eyes began to close "No please don't go" she begged him "It's time" he replied "I have to go" "No!" she cried but it was to late, he was gone, she hugged his lifeless body and tears flowed down her face the sky opened and joined her in her grief, but she didn't even notice "No you cant go" she said "I love you!, I love you" she repeated, but the heavens did not care he remained unmoving and lifeless. "I love you" she said over and over again like a manta but it was to little to late she had missed her chance, and now he was gone forever lost to her. So she wept.  
  
She awoke to the pounding in her chest and the fear of dread that overwhelmed her it had seemed so real she had to check. She walked to his room she paused outside his door uncertain what she might find inside, dread still overwhelmed her, she took a breath and walked in; the room was empty she let out a sob "What ever's the matter?" a voice replied behind her, his voice, she turned and flung herself a him.  
  
She sobbed in his arms comforted by his warmth "Shush" he said "it's ok, it's ok now". "I love you" she said "I love you" he held her tighter she looked up into his eyes and she kissed him he returned the kiss deeply, shivers ran thought her, she deepened her kiss and held him like he might disappear at any moment. He led her into the bedroom never breaking the kiss, he laid her on the bed, and removed her clothes; she shed his he looked deep into her eyes as if asking her permission she gave it with a slight nod; then he was inside her moving with a gentleness she did not know he possessed. She pressed herself against him he took the hint and speed up; all the while she clung to him holding him to her, then he was gone. She awoke alone as she had done every day for so long. It was all a dream none of it had been real.  
  
Her door chimed "Come in" she called, he appeared in her doorway, "Did you forget we were to have breakfast together?" he asked "Yes" she replied unsure what else to say "Lunch then?" he said "Yes lunch" she replied, and with that he left. She would tell him she promised to her self, she would tell him today. A smile lit her face, yes today she would tell him.  
  
Lunch came she awaited him; she had on her new top, and some of her favourite expensive perfume the kind she saved only for special occasions. He sat down opposite from her he made no comment on her appearance, but she thought he held his gaze on her a little to long. She opened her mouth to tell him, but the words would not come out she talked instead about their latest mission.  
  
They finished their meal and she tried again to tell him yet again, but again words failed her. He chuckled at her expression and excused himself and left. No, now was not the time to tell him. He wasn't ready yet she could tell, but would he ever be? Or was it all in her head? Maybe he felt nothing more than friendship for her. No she would leave it another day till he was ready she told her self, till he was ready, today she would go to bed alone, alone yet again.  
  
The end, or is it, the last one was meant to be a stand alone but the voices in my head just took over, is there pills for that? Claire. 


	3. He had dreamed of her again

He had dreamed of her again, this was happening with an alarming frequency, did he want her? He wasn't sure anymore, his feelings for her had changed yes, but had they changed that much? Still it didn't matter did it? She didn't want him, had never shown any signs that she did, or had she? Were those little touches really innocent?  
  
Once he thought that she was about to kiss him, but was it just his imagination seeing what he wanted to see? But he didn't want her, did he? Oh this was confusing him, driving him mad, he had to stop this. Work, yes work was a good a distraction as any.  
  
Work did not disappoint, life on Andromeda was never easy, but then again did he really want the quite life? of course it would be safer to abandon this life and live on some quite planet but even though he knew that should be appealing, it wasn't. The shift ended all to soon though, and again he was left alone with his thoughts.  
  
He dreamed of her again that night, but now a new face filled the dreams as well, that of a child a daughter, a girl barely four, but already bright, quick and strong. He watched her running, long hair flowing out behind her, she was beautiful like her mother.  
  
Had it really got this far? A child, he was dreaming of a child, yet he still wasn't sure he wanted her. No, that wasn't true he had to admit it; he did want her every bone in his body cried out for her he could feel it now.  
  
She walked past him and he couldn't help but look to her, he couldn't fight it any more, didn't want to, but he had to she didn't want him not now, probably not ever. Still his eyes fell to her, and suddenly he wanted to pull her close to him, and taste those sweet lips of hers, to. no this had to stop now there was work to be done there was no time for daydreaming.  
  
They had lunch together again as they did frequently, still it meant nothing more than friendship to her 'just friends' having lunch together as always. Her hand brushed his, and unbidden the images of the girl sprung into this mind, they were in a park surrounded by flowerers; she was holding her spinning her around as she giggled with childish delight while he looked on. It was a beautiful scene and he wounded if that would be his life with her; if it was then he would gladly surrender to it.  
  
The contact broke and the image faded, but suddenly those eyes of hers turned to him and looked him straight in the eye they seamed to probe his very sole, if he even had such a thing, and an intense emotion filled her eyes, but it was gone before he could identify it. Then the moment was gone, and he wondered if it was ever there at all or just another figment of his imagination.  
  
For the hundredth time he wondered what had changed they had touched like that before many times and he had felt nothing, well maybe not exactly nothing, but nothing as intense as that.  
  
He berated him self; it was getting out of hand now, he could not function properly, he could not go on like this. Something had to change, but he could not tell her, so what? Leave? Change his feelings? He couldn't do that they had gone to far, spiralled out of control, and he hated when things were out of his control. But that left leaving and he couldn't face that either he belonged here he could feel that now.  
  
Maybe he would tell her, tell her his feelings had changed, maybe just maybe she wanted him too and he could make her his. But if she rejected him? His mind questioned, then what, things could not remain the same he may still have to leave. So it was back to square one; what ever the choice things could not remain the same, but then again was that not what he wanted, or was it?  
  
He was confused another feeling he hated, but one thing was clear to him: the thought of loosing her completely, that was to much, he couldn't risk that; so he would just have to play a little longer at 'just friends' maybe over time the feelings would disappear. Yes that was it; he would just have to work harder at controlling his feelings and being 'just friends'.  
  
End of part 3 


	4. She had dreamed of him again

She had dreamed of him again the dream was powerful and her mind was reluctant to release her from it, but still the alarm blared she was sure it was getting loader the dream faded and she was released from its grip. She sighed another day to face, another day of 'just friends'.  
  
Andromeda's hologram appeared before her "Are you ok?" she asked "I had to increase the volume of your alarm by 25% to wake you today." "I'm fine" she replied gruffly I was just tired I haven't slept so well recently." "Do you require additional sleep? I could tell the captain you are not well" replied the hologram a hint of concern showing in her voice. For a second she was tempted to say yes and surrender to the dream again, but she told herself to be strong. "No, I'll see you in command shortly" she said instead.  
  
While she dressed she did her best to shake for the nights images, but she could still feel his hands on her holding her tight, she could still smell his sent, she hoped she would be busy today work would be a welcome distraction from thoughts of him.  
  
Her prayers were not answered today though, and unusually the day was quite and uneventful she tried to remain focused but it was a losing battle why did he have to be in the same room as her; surly her had something better to do than distract her.  
  
Lunch time came and she gladly left his presence today was not one of their lunches; she didn't think she could handle it if it was. Still as much as she was glad to be away from his influence she also longed for it; she liked their little discussions they would have over lunch or breakfast. When lunch was over she found her self pleased to be returning to him, but also dreading his distracting presence, the longing she would feel when she saw him. His pull over her was strong, but he had no clue.  
  
When she returned from lunch she found he had gone and she breathed a sigh of relief she could concentrate now. Still she found her concentration slipping and almost asked Andromeda for his location, no she told herself be strong stay focused, there will be a day to hold him but that day is not today. But will the day really ever come another voice told her or is that just a story you tell your self to make the days easier. The shift ended finally and she retired to her quarters stopping only to collect a meal.  
  
She dreamed again of him that night, but now a new face filled her dreams that of a child a girl barely four she saw her running her long hair flowing out behind her. She ran to him and he picked her up twilling her through the air, and she giggled with childish delight. The girl beckoned to her; mummy. she said then the dream vanished.  
  
She awoke with a start she was dreaming of a child, had it really gone that far? She dressed and prepared for another day but the image of the girl would not leave her mind; she had called her mummy and it sounded beautiful she had never pictured her self as a mother but it seamed so natural and right in the dream. If that was her future she would gladly surrender to it.  
  
He brushed past her in the corridor as she headed to work she wanted to tell him here and then confess her love, but she walked on; she had thought though that his eyes had strayed to hers, they hadn't, had they?  
  
She met him for lunch again today as they did frequently still it meant nothing more than friendship for him 'just friends' sharing lunch as always. Her hand brushed his, and unbidden the image of the child flew into her mind her eyes sought out his of their own accord and stared deep into them she thought she saw something there, but then doubt flew into her mind and she broke the contact embarrassed at her slip. She had almost told him in those few seconds that had passed while she stared into his eyes drawn there by an intense power she could not control.  
  
She wounded what had happened they had touched before, but never had she felt anything like that. This was getting out of control she couldn't go on like this. She berated herself something had to change she couldn't function like this, but what? She couldn't tell him he wasn't ready yet maybe he never would be, maybe it was all in her head. No she couldn't tell him; she would loose him forever that way. What else did that leave then? Change her feeling? She couldn't do that, things had gone to far, spiralled out of her control, and she hated when things were out of her control. But still she couldn't go on like this seeing him, but not having him; so what? That only left leaving and then she would never have him. No she would find another way to go on; she had to.  
  
The end for now 


	5. His words

Just friend's - His words  
  
Disclaimer: As previous  
  
Authors note: Sorry you had to wait this long but, I had to wait for the end of season 3 to show on sky one before I could continue as I wanted to keep this in line (just about) with the show. Now read on and enjoy.  
  
Sleep that's what she really needed but, that was not to come tonight not when thoughts of him still rushed though her mind. Before there had not been time before for the trauma of his words to hit her but, now she was alone the full force of them hit her and held her captive it was inescapable and, it was tormenting her; how could he say those things to her and then do what he did.  
  
His words continued to circle her mind and, she wanted to scream out loud but she held it back it would only attract attention that she didn't want and couldn't deal with so instead she screamed inside but, she felt no better for it.  
  
He hadn't said he loved her exactly but, it was as close to a declaration of love as she was ever going to get. He had cared for her and, for a moment her sprit soared in his love then it fell and it was still falling now. She was alone, and that was the way it was going to stay, he cared for her, now she knew that at last, but still it wasn't enough to hold him to her, still she remained alone.  
  
For a moment she wounded whether it was better to know or not; his words had hurt her more than a force lance ever could but, not knowing had hurt too. She had meant something to him and she cherished that thought but, what good had that knowledge done her? She was still alone, and he was still out of her reach but, now he was further still from her.  
  
He loved her but, still she was doomed to be alone; there was no happy endings in sight for her. That child she had dreamed of would forever remain a dream. She supposed if she did not know she could go on dreaming the dream instead of this waking nightmare he had left her with; the knowledge that it would never be.  
  
So she cried, she wept until there were no more tears to come for her body could spare no more precious moisture. She hadn't cried for such a long time and now it felt as if she had cried every tear she had never shed. He had done this to her, he had held out his love for her then snatched it back before she even got to feel it and, all he had left her with was tears.  
  
She closed her eyes and for a second she sore him, she sore what their life could have been, she held the girl in her arms and felt what it was like to have his love, then reality snatched her back. She was not meant to have him what ever god happened to be out there it appeared he didn't want her to be happy.  
  
The universe was cruel but, still that wasn't really a big surprise to her the universe seemed to get a kick out of snatching away the ones she loved, her mum, dad, the others she had lost, they were all gone from her life and, now he was too.  
  
Fresh tears sprung to her eyes, tears that his words had put there, she should hate him for that she thought but still she couldn't, loss was the only emotion she felt and it consumed her. He had told her he loved her then walked way, right though the airlock and out of her life, why can't she hate him for that?  
  
Some were in her she realised that hope still flicked, hope that he would come back one day and they would be together finally but, the rational part of her mind told her that it would not happen even if he came back.  
  
Tyr was lost to her forever and, she Beka Valentine would remain alone.  
  
The end (probably!)  
  
Well done to anybody who guessed the couple and sorry to anyone who would rather have remained in the dark or were disappointed.  
  
So what did you think, did you like it? Would you have preferred me to keep it a mystery; would you like me to post the alternate version of chapter 3 which spills the beans much earlier, would you like a final chapter form Tyr's pov. Let me know, I value your opinions and appreciate the time you take to review my work.  
  
P.S. Do you like my new penname, I am a designing a web site under the same name look out for it in the future.  
  
Claire. (Rommie's Voice) 


End file.
